Whenever I ask clients about how they might improve their communication skills, particularly listening and presenting, their answers tend to include:
“eye contact…body language”
And I always tell them to forget these comforting, but distracting, ideals.
Why?
Because when it comes to real communication, intention is everything
Thinking about body language is starting in the wrong place. The place to start is with really caring about the other person.
When you care about the other person, nothing else matters as much. Your body language will mirror your intention.
Stress impedes connection and hampers communication
It affects our listening certainly and I can provide you with ways of helping you to focus your attention and check your intention here and here.
Instead, I want to focus on the times we need to make a connection when presenting.
Presenting is nothing more than the ancient art of storytelling
Our brains are hardwired for stories. A well-told story releases oxytocin, a chemical response in our bodies also referred to as the hug hormone, cuddle chemical, or moral molecule.
Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.
by Guest contributor Richard Smith on August 9, 2013
“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public” ~ George Jessel
It is a common fear. We all recognise the symptoms – sweaty palms, loss of appetite, restlessness, dry mouth, shortness of breath, a tight throat, nausea, dread…
Anxiety about public speaking impacts most of us at some point in our lives
To a large number of people it can become a barrier in their careers. The medical term is Glossophobia, and it’s a big one. Fear of public speaking routinely comes top in the list of the biggest phobias worldwide.
To those scheduled to speak, the discomfort emerges early
Thinking about standing in front of the audience raises anxiety, which becomes a demon on our backs.
A conscious effort not to think about public speaking can work for short spells, but this is an avoidance tactic and soon the demon reminds us of his presence, larger and fiercer than before.
What is the source of the phobia of public speaking?
Richard Smith is a leader in the environmental industry, consulting with the University of Hertfordshire. His role includes consulting, management training and executive coaching. He is a believer in development and learning, especially in relational settings. The day we stop learning is our last on Earth, until then we never know the limits of how much we can grow.
I’ve lost count of the number of clients who come to me for presentation skills coaching who ask:
“What am I supposed to do with my hands? I feel so awkward.”
If you’re going to be a great presenter you need to stop worrying about what you do with your hands. You’re not directing traffic or carrying out brain surgery. You’re talking to people.
When you talk to people in the office, at home, in a bar, do you worry about your body language? I’m guessing that for most of us, outside of a first date or important interview, the answer to that question will be “no”.
Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.
Have you ever sat through a presentation where the speaker whisks through forty slides in as many minutes? Where each slide is crammed full of text or endless bullet pointed lists?
It always amazes me that people who complain they have too much to do and not enough time to do it in, will waste hours sitting in on dull, unmemorable, or just plain confusing, presentations.
Presentations can be tough to deliver, but it’s important to accept that nerves are normal. And nerves can let a presenter down. Let’s leave presentation delivery to another week.
Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.
Despite the advances in technology and the changes in the way we can and do communicate, one thing has remained pretty much the same for centuries – our desire to see a real person stand up in front of us and talk in a way that informs or persuades or inspires.
And yet surveys all over the world reveal that giving presentations is right up there with death as the public’s number one fear.
Perhaps that is partly because presenting is seen as the more immediate danger? But as both are unavoidable, let’s look at how you can present your message in a way that is easy to understand and hard to resist.
Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.
