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How much are you worth?

How much are you worth?

by Moyra Mackie on August 6, 2016

If I asked you the question “How much are you worth?”  what would you take into consideration?

Would you think about how much you earn or how much you own?  Would you think about what’s in the bank, or how much you owe the bank?

Or would you dwell on what other people might think you’re worth?

How long did it take you before you valued yourself?

Not just in this exercise above, but in your life?

The trouble with external valuations – like everything in a market – is the value can rise or fall without really having anything to do with you.

We’ve been judged and labelled all our lives 

Sporty, smart, arty, eccentric, funny, beautiful, introvert, extrovert, people person, shy, bossy, go-getting.  These (e)valuations are set by other people, or agreed by us in some kind of unconscious negotiation with other people.

 http://www.coachwiththegreenhat.com/growth-mindset-how-much-you-worth/After a while we may even take on that label; wear it like a suit of armour.  You might begin sentences with:

“you see, I’m an X kind of person.”

We limit our worth by overlooking our value

Being an “X kind of person” makes sure that we limit ourselves before someone else does.  It’s a bulwark against rejection.

It’s why I think psychometric tests are such comfort blankets for corporations; they’re grown-up labels where it’s ok to put people in boxes.  The focus is on a fixed point. Nowhere are we considering our value; what we’re offering or what we have in common.

Most of the coaching conversations I’ve ever had – whether I have been the coach or the one being coached – has begun at the point of being frustrated or comforted with a label.

The biggest value of coaching or therapy is that it allows us the space to examine our own assumptions and unpick the tapestry of labels and self-limiting beliefs we’ve stitched together over time.

How to set your own value

Setting our value, establishing our own sense of worth, is not an easy task.  Especially when we’ve got used to other people doing it for us.

We could all value these things more:

read more…

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.

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What gifts are you mindlessly throwing away?

What gifts are you mindlessly throwing away?

by Moyra Mackie on October 17, 2015

When I left work at 7pm on Friday night, it was already dark. Outside, it seemed that everybody’s weekend had begun except mine.

I’d been in a team meeting all day and had spent the last hour frantically trying to catch up on important mails that had arrived during the day.  I was in the middle of negotiating a large contract and I felt overwhelmed and frustrated by the paperwork and the process.

My mind was everywhere except in the present

I got into my car, with my mind racing, half wishing the weekend away so that I could get back to untangling the bureaucratic threads.

At least I didn’t have to cook dinner when I got home, as my husband had ordered a takeaway for me to pick up on the way home.  I stopped first to buy a bottle of wine to go with it.

As I reached the check out, my head was still full of work

I scarcely noticed the cashier until the card machine failed to work.  Three or four attempts by the young woman to reset the machine failed and I stood waiting, aware of a growing queue behind me.

Eventually she asked her colleague, who pointed out that she had missed a basic step in allowing card payments.  She blushed and apologised.   In that moment I was conscious of feeling angry at the large supermarket chain for throwing young workers in front of customers without adequate training.

But just as quickly another thought entered my head. read more…

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.

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Emotional Intelligence: The difference that makes the difference

Emotional Intelligence: The difference that makes the difference

by Guest contributor Liam Barrett on December 13, 2014

For years, in school, you are taught that good grades is how life works. That getting straight A’s and doing your homework is all that matters.

While being smart, and doing your work is a must, there is more to life than just “being smart”.  Employers are starting to recognize that the real prize is emotional intelligence.

Emotional Intelligence is the difference that really makes the difference

Emotional intelligence is the ability to react and adjust to your own emotions;  properly controlling and moderating them.

Many people measure how successful they will be on how smart they are.  But some of our toughest tests are those we face when we leave school – getting turned down, failing, or hitting a roadblock. How we cope depends a lot on our EI.

Becoming a master of emotional intelligence helps your chances of success and fulfillment at home and at work.

There are many ways to increase your emotional intelligence

read more…

Guest contributor Liam Barrett

Guest contributor Liam Barrett

Liam is a young entrepreneur from Boise, Idaho. He is always looking for ways to become a great, influential leader. Everyday is another day to achieve his idea of success, and he believes that only one's self is responsible for the daily life that you live.

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Rebecca  arrived at our first coaching session apologizing that she had a headache and sore neck and shoulders.

Ninety minutes later her headache had lifted and the pain had gone. She left my office elated and incredulous.

I know what you’re thinking.

How did that happen?

For those cynics in the room, who may not be that charitable, please keep reading.

But the answer to the question above is: we had a trustful coaching session and then we ended with seven minutes of mindfulness.

What is mindfulness?

mindfulness, coaching, Moyra Mackie

How can “paying attention on purpose” ease physical pain?

read more…

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.

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What Tolstoy could teach us about change

What Tolstoy could teach us about change

by Moyra Mackie on October 4, 2013

How many times have you tried to change something in your work or personal life, only to find yourself drifting back to your old habits?

Even when we know that the change we want to see makes logical, rational sense – giving up smoking, exercising more, balancing work and life – we often fail to make the change.

Why do we act against our own best interests?

Well the answer came when I was handing out these postcards this week.

Change Ninja, making change happen

The Tolstoy quote has resonated with most people, but one conversation in particular stands out.  On seeing the quote one of my clients said:

“small changes…that’s so true.  Except that I usually make big changes.”

“And how does that work out?” I asked.

“Well sometimes it works, many times it doesn’t and sometimes it’s chaos.”

Which is an answer Tolstoy, a master of observing the small details of peoples’ actions and attitudes, could have predicted.

So how can we make change stick?

read more…

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.

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The Chimp, the Gorilla, the Dog and the Human

The Chimp, the Gorilla, the Dog and the Human

by Guest contributor Paul Jenkins on August 23, 2013

Recently I’ve been listening to the audiobook of The Chimp Paradox by Dr Steve Peters, and I’ve found it very interesting and useful (more of that later).

Professor Peters was the resident psychiatrist behind the unstoppable rise of Britain’s cyclists in recent years.

The book comes recommended by Sir Chris Hoy, Victoria Pendleton and even Ronnie O’Sullivan – and by Dave (actually now Sir David) Brailsford CBE, performance director of British cycling, general manager of Team Sky and a man who knows a thing or two about building winning teams.

The purpose of Steve Peters’ book is to help the rest of us to become happy, confident and more successful

He explains that there is a daily struggle that takes place inside us, and he offers a mind management model to help people understand how the mind works, control their emotions and manage themselves to achieve more success in their lives. read more…

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Guest contributor Paul Jenkins

Paul Jenkins is a coach, speaker and trainer who helps good, experienced people who are struggling to find work to get the job they want and deserve.

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Coaching Myth #1: Coaches Fix People Don’t They?

Coaching Myth #1: Coaches Fix People Don’t They?

by Moyra Mackie on March 23, 2013

I was inspired to write this article after a recent conversation where I was told:

“I’m not like you.  You’re a coach and coaches think everyone can be fixed.”

This brought to mind an image of a mechanic in greasy overalls wrestling with the inner workings of a car engine.  Leave aside the fact that I’m not sure I look good in overalls, “fixing” is not a concept that professional coaches recognise as being in their remit.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) defines coaching as: “partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”

So whilst it’s undoubtedly work on both sides, overalls are not required.

When clients talk to me about the issues they have with their teams they quite often tell me that they tried coaching and “it didn’t work”.

And I reply:

“When you were coaching, what did you try?”

The responses I get back have led me to develop the following:

Five Clues You Are NOT Coaching

Click to tweet: Coaching Myth #1: Coaches Fix People Don’t They?

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Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.

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Leaders like learning

Leaders like learning

by Moyra Mackie on March 9, 2013

I have been developing and delivering training for more than 15 years now and my mantra has become “Training doesn’t work.” So why would I say that? Does it mean I’m suffering from some kind of commercial death wish?

Well, no. I’m not. But perhaps I should be more precise and say it slightly differently.

Maybe I should be saying: “Training doesn’t lead to change or lasting improvement.” But that’s not so catchy.

@MoyraMackie says: Leaders know the difference between training and learning.

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Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.

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Do you remember your first day at school? The fear of the unknown? The big, unfamiliar building? Worrying if you would fit in? The fretting about wearing the right clothes? The anxiety about whether the teachers would like you and you would like them?

I remember those emotions, oh so well. But I probably have an advantage over you. My first day of school was in December 2012.

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Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie

Moyra Mackie helps leaders and teams to work with courage, compassion and creativity. She is an executive coach and consultant and the founder of Mackie Consulting.

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